You are ranked 70,454th in the leaderboard. Try again?

Blood, sweat and tears are shed over my now-soggy controller as another hour of my life is whisked away by the prospect of recognition. Not a red tape parade in my honour, just my name somewhere on the leaderboard. My slaving efforts prove worthless, as a soda-fuelled gaming marathon results in the simple message: "You are ranked 70,454th in the leaderboard. Try again?" So with that innocent yet prudently demanding message emblazoned on the inside of my skull, I crack on once again at the evil videogame that will continue to suck away hours of my life for no good reason, my only encouragement being that same, small, automated message resulting from my apparent
success.

Hmm. That's interesting. There is no bloody success! Only the failure at the hands of the mighty Top 10. (And many thousands of avid gamers that were anywhere from slightly to significantly better than me.) Yet somehow gamers everywhere are magically willed on by some bitter, invisible force: competition. Millions of people litter Geometry Wars and Halo 3, each one vying to show their superiority. Yet there will always be one slightly better than the other, a pattern which will carry down from the 10 million ranking to the coveted number one.

What's even more interesting is that each one of these gamers has the mindset that they can get their names high up there. But unless they want to piss in a cup while beating their way into the twentieth hour of Asteroids Deluxe with sleep deprevation and crooked finger joints, it's not going to happen. One look at the top ten will prove this, as elite gamers and liberally aggressive geeks practically have parking spots reserved for them on Gears of War. Still, thousands of people will slowly and excrutiatingly burn away their lives on PGR3, hopelessly trying to clamber into League 1 on the Nurburgring time trial. And the rare gamers that have the 'privilage' of standing on that pedestal will be as competitive and possibly masochistic as they come. These people are the ones that poured more hours of their time into said game than the gamers ranked in the hundredths, who simply couldn't pry their eyes open any longer and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Yes, most games require a fairly dedicated time investment, but that seemingly innocuous 'game over' message prompts the most extreme conditions of restless wives and pissed off parents.

And for all these gamers climbing into impossible scoring territory, gamers like me; who see themselves as pretty good on Halo 3 and beat their mates on Gears of War, will be slapped in the face by the fierce online competition and leaderboard stats that will summarize our actual worth. And so, some of us will shrug it off and continue to beat our friends in some split-screen deathmatch, while others will seek to better themselves on the leaderboards, which leads to the process listed above. These gamers will continue to be belly-punched by the ferocity of the leaderboard, which will continue to reward their slaving efforts with a game over sign and the words: "try again?"